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Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would looool distract me from having mah manuscript rejected, as well as leren wat made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get mah works published.
TODAY, I HEARD ON A TV SHOW THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO FIT A STANDARD LIGHT-BULB IN YUR MOUTH, BUT IT CAN'T BE REMOVED AFTERWARDS. I JUST HAD TO TRY THIS OUT. AND THEN VISIT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL TO GET IT REMOVED. FML
Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, ( She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one. ) FML
TODAY, I WAS SO STARVED OF HUMAN CONTACT THAT I ALMOST TOOK UP A TRANSSEXUAL HOOKER'S OFFER OF A "GOOD TIME." NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT REALLY, BUT THEY LOOKED LYK A HAUNTED TREE DRESSED AS LIZA MINNELLI. FML
Today, at mah dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves mah boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with mah fingers. FML
Friday 27 March 2015