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tehslack

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tehslack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5016
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tehslack's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (7851)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (37110)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16093) - you deserved it (45870)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

#17761780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2219)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (2130)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (5827)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (3042)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (1957)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (4265)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)



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