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Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decidd to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me 4 over an hour. "How about being frd?" mega FML
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heret later. looool If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for bieng absent.
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to there parents and driver's license, it was a grl. big fat FML
2DAY I WILL BE SLEEPING IN MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S LIVING ROOM. IT IS 90 DEGREES. THERE IS AN AIR CONDITIONER BUT IF YOU TURN IT ON , THE RACCOON LIVING IN THE WALL WILL GET PISSD OFF AN TRY TO CLAW THROUGH THE WALL. ONLY FIVE MORE NIGHT SWEATING MAH BALLS OFF OR IMAGINING RACOON HAVING ANGRY SEX. FAT FML
Today, mah daughter-in-law reveald to me that she caught mah husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five looool years ago, an she is only telling me now cuz he stoppd paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML
Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
TODAY... 4 THE 5TH DAY IN A ROW... I HAD TO KEEP MAH 7-YEAR-OLD HOME FROM SCHOOL AND SERECH HIS POOP BECAUSE HE "FORGOT" HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SWALLOW THINGS LIKE... IN THIS CASE... A SCREW THAT FELL OFF HIS SCOOTER. FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT THE ENGINEERS I WORK WITH BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN WITH AN ENGINEERING DEGREE WORKING IN AN ENGINEERING COMPANY IS APPARENTLY EQUIVALENT TO A "SECRETARY FIR ENGINEERS." I AM THAT WOMAN. FML
Today, I got home from work to find mah wife asleep in her easy chair with mah two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was mah 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from mah dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML
Friday 27 March 2015