Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tehman117

Online | Search for a member

tehman117

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1276
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tehman117's page activity

Visits<b>Llamunkey</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Lucario227</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Rei_Ayanami</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:07am<b>CarolMellow</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:28pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:32pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:48pm<b>saminfiniti</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:03pm<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:17pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:55am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:53am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:01am<b>lamecheesykiwi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:14am<b>lifeislifenanana</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:49am<b>nemisis11</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:16pm<b>chelene</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:14pm<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:18am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:22am<b>max367</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:09pm

Fucked!<b>sphinixia</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:03pm<b>mad_scotch</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:28pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:12am<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:58am<b>Cyan_unicorn3</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:41am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Wilffe56</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>theweasel</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:22am<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:04am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:34am<b>Caninefreak</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:42am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:35am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:27am

tehman117's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of tehman117's badges

tehman117's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (23445)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (2081)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (1840)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (4493)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38153) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (1562)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

#21440904
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (1756)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3449)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (11060)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: