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  • Town/Country : Okinawa, Japan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2344
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About tehaustiebear : Average at best.

tehaustiebear's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 5:11pm<b>morganshea</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:55pm<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:58am<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 5:10pm<b>EmmiAnne</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:23pm<b>liyate</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 11:21pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:37am<b>Dexter_39476</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:40am<b>Bustedbutsilent</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:49pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:44am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:13am<b>mzrayray</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:31pm<b>bwood777</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 3:05am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:51am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>wildnargles</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:19am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:56am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:15am<b>devi_916</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:13am<b>superbopbop</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:50pm<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:14pm<b>savxf</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:57pm<b>morganshea</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:55am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:18pm<b>rockninja</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:05pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:31am<b>RachelHigg</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:42am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 2:27pm<b>DewIchigo</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:35am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:22am

tehaustiebear's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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tehaustiebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

by lextoast / 07/26/2015 at 2:15pm / Rwanda / Love

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

by Brooke / 01/15/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

by sasquatch / 09/08/2012 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy