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teareb

Offline (the 07/23/2014 at 6:10am) | Search for a member

teareb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 263
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About teareb : I may be the Awesomest person in the world.
..but I'm probably not.

teareb's page activity

Visits<b>tzemmy</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 11:26pm<b>RedFennecFox</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 2:38pm<b>wessnipes98</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:18am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 11:07pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 4:59pm<b>Disheartened</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 6:16am<b>evilvagina</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:27am<b>Kiki242</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 8:55pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 6:28pm<b>inka302</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:25am<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:03am<b>MGITSWFTC</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:31pm<b>not7gary8asian9</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:56am<b>rachelx1983</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 1:39pm<b>Streetracer15</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:38am

teareb's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of teareb's badges

teareb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

#20981618
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm - health - by mooselord (man) - United States

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (10915)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (7137)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45139) - you deserved it (8405)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12932) - you deserved it (31973)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

#20534670
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (2309)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (16707)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (12396)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9933) - you deserved it (45977)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (1925)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (5281)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32434) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12653) - you deserved it (31058)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States



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