teamlightskin

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teamlightskin

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2308
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

teamlightskin's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:17pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:45am<b>Liv3366</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:13pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:06pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:13am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>SaniK</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:49pm<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>achillesJC123</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Isaiah80008</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 10:13am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:53am

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teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

by mylifesucks / 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 7:26am / United States / Love

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm / Romania (Buzau) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy