Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

teamlightskin

Search for a member

teamlightskin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 867
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

teamlightskin's page activity

Visits<b>sh07</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:01pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Peter_Ohnigian</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:49am<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:56pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:46am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:26pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:03pm<b>telli164</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:55am<b>mat_sib</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:34am<b>temoch</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>jake_lq91</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:45am<b>bbanmen</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:48am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:11pm<b>MMWolves</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:17am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:46am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:51am

teamlightskin's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of teamlightskin's badges

teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67272) - you deserved it (3978)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60214) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (9007)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54694) - you deserved it (6339)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48010) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (48964)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56289) - you deserved it (6671)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63458) - you deserved it (4738)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62425) - you deserved it (10813)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (49127)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57669) - you deserved it (6814)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97911) - you deserved it (11346)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: