teamlightskin

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teamlightskin

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2813
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

teamlightskin's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:17pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:45am<b>Liv3366</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:13pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:06pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:13am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>SaniK</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:49pm<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>achillesJC123</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:22pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:53am

teamlightskin's FML badges

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teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

by amanda / 07/23/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

by the unfortunate man / 07/19/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

by cyn1cal99 / 07/18/2013 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

by FootinMouth / 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy