teamlightskin

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teamlightskin

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2197
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

teamlightskin's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:17pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:45am<b>Liv3366</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:13pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:06pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:13am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>SaniK</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:49pm<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>achillesJC123</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Isaiah80008</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 10:13am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:53am

teamlightskin's FML badges

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teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

by why me?? / 08/07/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

by sucksatlove / 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love