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teamlightskin

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teamlightskin
  • Town/Country : Houstalantavegas, heaven
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 672
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

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teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46862) - you deserved it (4132)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56633) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39875) - you deserved it (9265)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (3452)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (3676)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (101532)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (2022)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
165 comments

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

#20891258
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (7220)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:34am - misc - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57672) - you deserved it (4792)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44481) - you deserved it (29547)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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