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team_cookies

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team_cookies

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 October 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 268
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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team_cookies's page activity

Visits<b>elvis103</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:53pm<b>dante_53</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:29am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:56pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 11:42pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:02pm<b>prettytreekitty</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 9:23am<b>linyah</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:26am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:30am<b>darkblue92</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 2:54pm<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 2:34pm<b>chabelo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 9:28pm<b>KVKdragon</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 7:06pm<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 4:48pm<b>imbatmanbitch</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 12:53am<b>brep12</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:07pm<b>StarWolf111</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 5:14pm<b>oj101</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 5:04am

team_cookies's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of team_cookies's badges

team_cookies's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47899) - you deserved it (2752)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (3435)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (43414)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (5895)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (4336)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (50432)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (4460)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57317) - you deserved it (8220)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (47504)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56590) - you deserved it (3891)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (12193)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (5307)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my boss a nick name. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML

#18146930
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (39246)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - work - by hatemyboss - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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