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tcook912's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
tcook912's favorite FMLs
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
by VDM / 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm / Kids
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
- Today at work, an old woman saw my picture of my son felt the need to come tell me what to do. I am… Today, in class, the guy next to me seemed anxious. My desk was shaking from his leg bouncing and I… Today, for the fifth week in a row, my boyfriend admitted to buying something frivolous, yet still…