About tcain2776 : I am a badass...
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
tcain2776's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML
by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by fmylyfe / 11/09/2013 at 9:15am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML
by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML
by NickDrakeFan / 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy