tbfootball88

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Offline (the 01/28/2015 at 7:27pm)

tbfootball88

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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tbfootball88's FML badges

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tbfootball88's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 8:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

by Chelsea / 04/21/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

by River / 02/26/2009 at 11:17am / United States (Delaware) / Transportation

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

by takeiteasy / 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm / Miscellaneous