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taylormatous

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taylormatous

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  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taylormatous's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

taylormatous's favorite FMLs

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15740) - you deserved it (31342)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64418) - you deserved it (16372)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (2438)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (5318)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38476) - you deserved it (6674)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (6663)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37912) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (10948)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (9995)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (2538)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (9165)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (38890)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)



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