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taylormatous

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taylormatous

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  • Number of visits : 116
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taylormatous's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

taylormatous's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46753) - you deserved it (3143)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (5736)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (7420)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (3140)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45988) - you deserved it (4174)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34704) - you deserved it (16108)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58110) - you deserved it (4186)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53843) - you deserved it (3560)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49149) - you deserved it (4642)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (5352)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48293) - you deserved it (27219)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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