Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

taylorjean97

Search for a member

taylorjean97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taylorjean97 : Taylor | 15 years young✌| Why not, message me?

taylorjean97's page activity

Visits<b>Caruci</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 12:35am<b>moneyboyswag</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:03pm<b>s_reel16</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 4:02pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 5:06pm

taylorjean97's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of taylorjean97's badges

taylorjean97's favorite FMLs

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

#17777792
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (2062)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

#17260985
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (6464)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

#15985974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (7255)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (4667)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51159) - you deserved it (4375)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62027) - you deserved it (4883)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

#13634494
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (2415)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by yeaokay - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (4014)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (3207)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (11301)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

#8465985
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (2241)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7820) - you deserved it (22583)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: