Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

taylorjean97

Search for a member

taylorjean97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 213
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taylorjean97 : Taylor | 15 years young✌| Why not, message me?

taylorjean97's page activity

Visits<b>Caruci</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 12:35am<b>moneyboyswag</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:03pm<b>s_reel16</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 4:02pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 5:06pm

taylorjean97's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of taylorjean97's badges

taylorjean97's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (4391)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (1800)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (6725)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (24093)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16740) - you deserved it (25732)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (7063)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (4431)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8442) - you deserved it (57432)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

#18703158
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10639) - you deserved it (77259)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (5704)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (7744)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

#18520705
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (2393)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm - health - by Kara - United States (New York)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (67291)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (42005)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: