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taylorellingford

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taylorellingford
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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taylorellingford's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

taylorellingford's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

#19915477
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5141) - you deserved it (51432)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7645) - you deserved it (21772)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29330)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (269503)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66998) - you deserved it (403342)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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