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taxlor

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taxlor

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  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 447
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taxlor's page activity

Visits<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:22am<b>JohnzSexyMamas11</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 1:46am

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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taxlor's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (4781)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (2448)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52009) - you deserved it (8126)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48007) - you deserved it (2296)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (50677)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9490) - you deserved it (47117)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (2831)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (6896)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50649) - you deserved it (21370)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (21298)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11752) - you deserved it (69119)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61025) - you deserved it (5743)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (56059)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51692) - you deserved it (18241)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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