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taxlor

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taxlor

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  • Number of visits : 259
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taxlor's page activity

Visits<b>JohnzSexyMamas11</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 1:46am

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taxlor's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31790) - you deserved it (4589)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (2430)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (48709)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (2641)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (45257)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (2637)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48880) - you deserved it (20777)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (19635)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (67887)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60719) - you deserved it (5726)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (55851)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (18162)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15952) - you deserved it (96457)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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