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taxlor

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taxlor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taxlor's page activity

Visits<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:22am<b>JohnzSexyMamas11</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 1:46am

taxlor's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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taxlor's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (35193)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (3873)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (3873)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5455) - you deserved it (47909)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (8428)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8502) - you deserved it (55155)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (2667)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (25587)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (9061) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (32469)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (63448)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70214) - you deserved it (6590)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17998) - you deserved it (31630)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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