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tatzlp's FML badges
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tatzlp's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by fatty / 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
by damniphone / 06/29/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
by our kids will be derps / 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to…