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tatzlp's FML badges
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tatzlp's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by fatty / 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
by damniphone / 06/29/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
by our kids will be derps / 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one… Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone… Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal.…