tatzlp

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Offline (the 07/21/2015 at 10:22pm)

tatzlp

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tatzlp's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:45pm

tatzlp's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of tatzlp's badges

tatzlp's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

by fatty / 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a 'young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans' crackpot. FML

by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

by damniphone / 06/29/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

by our kids will be derps / 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals