About tannerianian : Hey I'm tanner! I love meeting new people. I scream/sing in a techno/electronic band and play ukulele guitar and keyboard as well as DJ and make dubstep. I love body mods my ears are an inch and I have my nose pierced and an industrial I plan to get more.
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
tannerianian's favorite FMLs
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML
by brittgreen / 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML
by legwarmer / 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
- Today, our new landlords invited my fiance and I to dinner. After we ate we were offered dessert.… Today, my vegan friend, not knowing that I'm allergic to soy, snuck tofu into my chicken burrito to… Today, at 34 weeks pregnant I peed myself while brushing my teeth, not more than a minute earlier I…