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tambo5135

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tambo5135

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (23160)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (18743)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56823) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58697) - you deserved it (4187)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44163) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (127675)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (89923)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (6284)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59540) - you deserved it (6624)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53947) - you deserved it (3098)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52593) - you deserved it (5898)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48335) - you deserved it (23823)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)



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