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tambo5135

Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 8:06pm) | Search for a member

tambo5135

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86711) - you deserved it (6194)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (41113)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64864) - you deserved it (8579)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (4243)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45929) - you deserved it (3210)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59547) - you deserved it (4540)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

#20926629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (4814)

On 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by nofriends - United States

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67114) - you deserved it (3096)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46828) - you deserved it (4688)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47098) - you deserved it (4459)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52483) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (51620)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia



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