Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tambo5135

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

tambo5135

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 744
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tambo5135's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of tambo5135's badges

tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (11188)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (6485)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (41818)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

#5066785
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (8042)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70319) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9433) - you deserved it (91808)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62781) - you deserved it (6850)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (94198)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53443) - you deserved it (12820)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (26736)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54091) - you deserved it (2806)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139716) - you deserved it (10000)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116731) - you deserved it (5500)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (42896)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (358654) - you deserved it (17966)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: