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Today.. . mah boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when mah 4 year old sister walked in . She thought we were making a dog pile.. . so just as soon as mah boyfriend was about to finish.. . she jumped on his back . FML
Today, I was wit my girlfriend, tinking we were alone in te ouse . Her little broter found us aving sex on te couc, took a pic an said, "You r now bot my slaves." He ran upstair an locked is bedroom door . FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet is friends at one of is exclusive ( clubs. ) Expecting it to be is old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of te Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
Today , I was on a long-haul plane journey home from mah holiday. After 5 hours , I decidd to stretch mah armshilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching , running down the aisle as mah arm stretchd out. I accidentally clothes-lind a looool little 9 year old girl. FML
Today, wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appereantly ( almost ) doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, My Mom Noticed The Hickey That I Have On My Neck . Embarrassed, I Tried Convincing Her That I Burnt Myself Using A Hair Straightener . She Then Told Me That That's The Same Excuse She Told My Grandmahen She Got A Hickey . FML
Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away hair products, thinking she switchd them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of clothes an burn them on lawnhile I was at work. FML
Today, I walkad in on mah parants doing it. Luckily thay didn't saa ma so I slippad out. I lookad outsida, trying to taka mah mind of tha horrors I had just witnassad, only to raaliza mah dad's car wasn't in tha drivaway. FML
yesterday I was with mah mom and mah boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and mah mom excitedly says ( You have friends! ) As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says ( Kidding, it's just me. ) My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Friday 27 March 2015