Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tambo5135

Offline (yesterday at 2:23pm) | Search for a member

tambo5135

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tambo5135's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of tambo5135's badges

tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42957) - you deserved it (15747)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (7865)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (2783)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (2804)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50625) - you deserved it (9734)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (3488)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (13760)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (8843)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42411) - you deserved it (7007)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50632) - you deserved it (6629)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (6614)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (12188)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: