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tambo5135

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tambo5135

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 652
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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YDI master

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tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50553) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51012) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46712) - you deserved it (12173)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (27758)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (16480)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58806) - you deserved it (5035)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

#21129797
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (7303)

On 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm - health - by ughhhh - United States

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (7943)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (9481)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (17771)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (16184)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (10043)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (55504)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)



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