About talloctopus : I'm Awesome. And also a Whovian :]
talloctopus's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
talloctopus's favorite FMLs
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
by SoniaLovesYou / 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
by unsatisfied / 03/09/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by damnit / 02/03/2009 at 5:47am / United States (New York) / Love
by grreeatttt / 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
by rindawg / 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch… Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I… Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw…