talloctopus

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talloctopus

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2467
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About talloctopus : I'm Awesome. And also a Whovian :]

talloctopus's page activity

Visits<b>shabadabba</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Logical07</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>Carlos_Dionicio</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:18am<b>ToxicRanbows</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 4:09pm<b>goose110v</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 3:18am<b>kkcoolkid</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 2:46am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:18am

Fucked!<b>shabadabba</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 7:49pm

talloctopus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of talloctopus's badges

talloctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

by Sir Vom-a-lot / 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

by biggieT / 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm / Sri Lanka (Western) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

by anonymous / 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 10:22am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Transportation

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

by markymark / 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 2:47am / Kids

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

by thanksalot / 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm / United States / Love

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

by crazyclumzy / 02/04/2010 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 10:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love