Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

talkomatic713

Search for a member

talkomatic713
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 May 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 596
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About talkomatic713 : Can't imagine anyone looking to FML for conversation...but if the feeling strikes you, send me a message.

talkomatic713's last visitors

the_rude_dudeIceMan11LilianaAlvarezCulito97LeslieKnorpAVGIIILarissa24SundayNightSixsarcasticloverNeilish

talkomatic713's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of talkomatic713's badges

talkomatic713's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (7375)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (1933)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

#8375292
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm - love - by tj85 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

#8067680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (26640)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - love - by caughttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (1720)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (1752)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3601)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, after telling my girlfriend that I loved her, she dumped me claiming I was getting "too attached". I've already spent almost $400 on her Valentine's Day present. FML

#7877517
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (15111)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:31pm - love - by Dan1021 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

#7682413
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (6086)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (8597)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18987) - you deserved it (3449)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

#7341507
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32222) - you deserved it (4324)

On 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: