Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

talkomatic713

Online | Search for a member

talkomatic713

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About talkomatic713 : Can't imagine anyone looking to FML for conversation...but if the feeling strikes you, send me a message.

talkomatic713's page activity

Visits<b>MJDubbs</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:00pm<b>lisslyi</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:52pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:07pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:46pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:58pm<b>LilianaAlvarez</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:04am<b>Culito97</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>LeslieKnorp</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:37pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:28pm<b>AVGIII</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:11pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 12:25am<b>kris_stewart</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:48pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:48am<b>Neilish</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 3:38am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:02am<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:45pm<b>MariJ82</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 5:41am

talkomatic713's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of talkomatic713's badges

talkomatic713's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using my boyfriend's phone to call my mom. A text message arrived from "Christina" that said, "Just put the kids to bed, come over." He swears they're only work buddies, but refuses to tell her he has a girlfriend, to avoid making things weird at work. We've been together two years. FML

#18114976
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (4392)

On 10/30/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Beantown girl (woman) - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (22596)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49972) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (3313)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML

#17958984
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (7731)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:22am - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (9930)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML

#17496847
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38909) - you deserved it (6175)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:19am - love - by CashChamp20 - United States

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (2729)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

#17301122
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (6548)

On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (7810)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (16425)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

#16674026
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: