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Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11981) - you deserved it (20158)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (6753)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States
Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (1998)
On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8240) - you deserved it (24480)
On 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by hjkashld (man) - United States
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (17606)
On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (2466)
On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (2629)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (6886)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (1891)
On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (5676)
On 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3652)
On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (3353)
On 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by dasnich (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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