About talkomatic713 : Can't imagine anyone looking to FML for conversation...but if the feeling strikes you, send me a message.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Why am I up so early?
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talkomatic713's favorite FMLs
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
by JStein / 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
by thinner than you / 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
by becca / 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm / United States / Love
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by cheaterscheat / 07/28/2012 at 9:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
by Jacquelinez / 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he… Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does… Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes…
- Today, I went to get new shoes. I found a pair I really enjoyed and went to ask an employee if they… Today, I found out that the girl I've been seeing for the past 3 years has been living and sleeping… Today, I ignored a middle aged man's obscene cat calling. He responded by trying to spit on me. FML