talesoftheold

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talesoftheold

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  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About talesoftheold : Hey :)

talesoftheold's page activity

Visits<b>Michellelaura67</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 9:19pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 2:06pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:07am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:41pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:27pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 6:36pm<b>MrGauss</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 8:29pm<b>Laners561769</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:24pm

talesoftheold's FML badges

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talesoftheold's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm / Italy (Toscana) / Love

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

by PityKitty / 12/24/2013 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

by STOPTHENOISE / 10/14/2013 at 9:10am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

by kalisa anteater / 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

by blehhx / 04/09/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Animals