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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1598
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About talb1 : I'm Russian. I hate rap. It shouldn't even be music. I listen to that good music you know? For example: Asking Alexandria, Oceana, The Agonist, Abandon All Ships, Alesana, Heaven Shall Burn, Miss May I, Underoath, The Word Alive, We Came As Romans. Ect...

Send me a message if you want. :3

talb1's page activity

Visits<b>keyface5</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:32am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:34pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 4:28pm<b>Bolai</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:04pm<b>insanelocket</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:27am<b>Tgimonday</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:34pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:11pm<b>JeyBiscuit</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:34pm<b>ironicallyalive</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:59pm<b>zerolight</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:04am<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:32am<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:02am<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:19pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:09am<b>Jishiku</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:36am<b>Red_Rising</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:41am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:47pm

talb1's FML badges

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talb1's favorite FMLs

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

by Brian B / 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm / United States / Work

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

by georgiahick / 12/30/2010 at 9:09am / Intimacy

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

by Username / 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm / United States / Intimacy