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talb1

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talb1
  • Town/Country : Port Saint Lucie, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About talb1 : I'm Russian. I hate rap. It shouldn't even be music. I listen to that good music you know? For example: Asking Alexandria, Oceana, The Agonist, Abandon All Ships, Alesana, Heaven Shall Burn, Miss May I, Underoath, The Word Alive, We Came As Romans. Ect...

Send me a message if you want. :3

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talb1's favorite FMLs

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10061) - you deserved it (27702)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (11095)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

#17736567
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (19192)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (3595)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (3014)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12634) - you deserved it (33320)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

#14941696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (7385)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (25747) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9897) - you deserved it (22639)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (4454)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States



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