takemeonthefloor

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takemeonthefloor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17183
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About takemeonthefloor : Stairs are my only enemy. I am very fond of Mario Kart. Dashboard Confessional, Blue October, and The Offspring are my favorite bands...for now. I'm a swimmer/dancer. Thunderstorms don't occur enough for my liking.

takemeonthefloor's page activity

Visits<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:37pm<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:56am<b>ComeClarity</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:16pm<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 9:45am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 6:54am<b>pnkpanther</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 6:07am<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:52pm<b>Mimi46</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 6:58pm<b>jmud</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 5:55pm<b>markjbon</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:41pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:31pm<b>iainthg</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:51pm

takemeonthefloor's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

takemeonthefloor's favorite FMLs

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

by Crotch_Rocket_Rider / 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

by TatooFAIL / 10/06/2009 at 10:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

by bubblegummm13 / 09/27/2009 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

by civicman / 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

by babymomma / 09/14/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

by Casden / 09/13/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

by kennedygeeee / 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

by ilovefootball / 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

by Notyourstepmom / 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

by leahbeuhh / 09/05/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

by Cossack_Man / 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

by Sarah / 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom / Love