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About takemeonthefloor : Stairs are my only enemy. I am very fond of Mario Kart. Dashboard Confessional, Blue October, and The Offspring are my favorite bands...for now. I'm a swimmer/dancer. Thunderstorms don't occur enough for my liking.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (5223)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10536) - you deserved it (44848)
On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (2693)
On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (42863)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2669)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (3643)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (2843)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting these random explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (2180)
On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44959) - you deserved it (1420)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (52419)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (2785)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that i had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7410) - you deserved it (47380)
On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87652) - you deserved it (18472)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (7950)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54334) - you deserved it (7027)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom
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