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takemeonthefloor

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takemeonthefloor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16726
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About takemeonthefloor : Stairs are my only enemy. I am very fond of Mario Kart. Dashboard Confessional, Blue October, and The Offspring are my favorite bands...for now. I'm a swimmer/dancer. Thunderstorms don't occur enough for my liking.

takemeonthefloor's page activity

Visits<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>ComeClarity</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:16pm<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 9:45am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 6:54am<b>pnkpanther</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 6:07am<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:52pm<b>Mimi46</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 6:58pm<b>jmud</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 5:55pm<b>markjbon</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:41pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:31pm<b>iainthg</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:51pm

takemeonthefloor's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

takemeonthefloor's favorite FMLs

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

#5682176
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32232) - you deserved it (7011)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (61192)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

#5497802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (3923)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (59890)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

#5249359
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (5065)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (3068)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54453) - you deserved it (2167)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12087) - you deserved it (71661)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52737) - you deserved it (3930)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10029) - you deserved it (64260)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

#4813965
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you deserved it (10404)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65423) - you deserved it (9538)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom



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