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taffy1239's favorite FMLs
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
by noboyfriend / 05/24/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation
by Lifeguard / 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
by babysitter / 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
by isaacBENNETT / 03/17/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML
by like / 03/14/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Geek
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…