Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tacojauns

Online | Search for a member

tacojauns

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5248
  • Number of comments : 302
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About tacojauns : I love Animations, Cartoons, Newgrounds, YouTube, Kenny Vs. Spenny(TV Show), Music (Ska, Oldies and Punk are my favorite) and other things like snowmobiling, motorcycleing, hunting, paintball, gambling, Texas Hold 'em etc... message me about anything if you'd like I get board at work! I'm a regular on this site maybe not a regular commenter but I'm on here pretty much daily P.S. sometimes I write good comment sometime bad most of my comments are sarcastic. oh well

tacojauns's page activity

Visits<b>imasexyburrito</b> - yesterday at 4:53pm<b>sisas</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:18am<b>ncsMcLaren77</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:34am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:01pm<b>vdrnjpg</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:07pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:53pm<b>imcool456</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:00pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:59am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:38am<b>hockeychick96</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:01am<b>mrgreg98</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:13am<b>Fusion_Fear</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:17am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:02am<b>jmcollins08</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:08am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>redneck_wolf</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:41am<b>beaut9</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:18pm

tacojauns's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

See all of tacojauns's badges

tacojauns's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171233) - you deserved it (21444)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (79243)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135181) - you deserved it (20228)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (265379) - you deserved it (48359)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58909) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (36975)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128715) - you deserved it (6820)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155803) - you deserved it (13877)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
999 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71232) - you deserved it (743567)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17842) - you deserved it (84966)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17014) - you deserved it (44346)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143931) - you deserved it (11835)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: