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tackblog's favorite FMLs
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML
by comedybreak / 10/30/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML
by ashleyyyy / 10/28/2011 at 11:59am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by cupcake_butt / 10/17/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
by dak-rod423 / 10/15/2011 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by cc / 10/10/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Montana) / Money
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML
by Chan / 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML
by fiendishkitty / 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (Texas) / Money
- Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I… Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while…