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tackblog's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 11/30/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML
by Thanksalot / 11/30/2013 at 12:58am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML
by Amanda / 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm / United States / Love
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML
by Annonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Money
by smiley1014 / 11/18/2013 at 4:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by kcountry92 / 11/17/2013 at 10:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 8:34am / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her…