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t3chn0cr4t

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t3chn0cr4t

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4289
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>nina0917</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:23pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:44pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:06pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:18pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:29am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 8:51pm<b>maz95</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:47pm<b>olpally</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 7:21pm<b>smr167</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 8:10am<b>9_11</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:42am<b>jeep575</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 10:52pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 8:43am

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t3chn0cr4t's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50673) - you deserved it (21382)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99238) - you deserved it (21116)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

#2785854
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56311) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11919) - you deserved it (124798)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

#2682144
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50169) - you deserved it (24090)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

#2174572
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55802) - you deserved it (24645)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:52am - intimacy - by rice_cake (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

#2161329
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (7979)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70443) - you deserved it (7967)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94294) - you deserved it (22519)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (146857)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65361) - you deserved it (6095)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84321) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79005) - you deserved it (24297)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62749) - you deserved it (7255)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)



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