About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!
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sythe511's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
by valarmorgoolies / 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
by that guy / 02/06/2015 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML
by nooo / 02/04/2015 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML
Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML
by februarymarchapril / 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by FrustratedTutor / 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML
by coveredupforfun / 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by dogbreederssuck / 02/03/2015 at 10:26am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML
by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
by chelse_elyce / 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
by wounded pride, intact cock / 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Love