About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!
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sythe511's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Josh / 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML
by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work
Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML
by bushwhacker / 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
by lulinator / 03/05/2015 at 11:30am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
by Microtron / 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by RadioactiveKush / 03/01/2015 at 2:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by fine / 02/28/2015 at 12:22am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML
by krh14 / 02/10/2015 at 7:59am / United States (Maryland) / Love
- Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when… Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found… Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me…