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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (980)
On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11583) - you deserved it (36225)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (2232)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (2408)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (29847)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (1971)
On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (1766)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (2243)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34640) - you deserved it (10126)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11377) - you deserved it (2968)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9615) - you deserved it (23501)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (3976) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (900)
On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17171) - you deserved it (9828)
On 07/23/2011 at 10:18am - kids - by lauramarie (woman) - Canada
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (5181)
On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)
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