sylvenestri

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sylvenestri

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sylvenestri's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

by forgottenbday / 07/11/2012 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

by Vxale / 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

by Mike / 12/17/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous