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sylvenestri

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sylvenestri

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 74
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sylvenestri's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (8663)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

#19921886
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (2291)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:09am - love - by forgottenbday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62454) - you deserved it (5037)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (2931)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

#17863482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (27415)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12488) - you deserved it (47738)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)



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