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sylo00147

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sylo00147

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  • Number of visits : 64
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sylo00147's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17991) - you deserved it (23311)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25913) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10424) - you deserved it (24199)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (9027)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (2252)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (8293)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (4371)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (9102)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (3967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73611) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40210) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)



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