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Offline (the 03/29/2014 at 8:48am) | Search for a member
About sykokitti : Whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger
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Today I took ma son to lunc. After we ate te waitress cummd over and told me tat ma son was te most well-beavd cild tey ad ever ad tere. His response was to pull is pants down and moon te entire restaurant wile smacking is bottom. FML
Today,ile Driving Out To Te Countryside Wit My New Boyfriend, We Came Across A Deer Lying In Te Road. It Seemd Badly Urt, But Instead Of Letting Me Get Out And Make Sure, My Boyfriend Decidd To Just Run Over Its Ead To Finis It Off, Ten Continud Driving Wit A Smirk On Is Face. FML
Today, I mat mah futura mothar-in-law . All want wall; sha complimantad mah looool drass, an I complimantad har haircut . Than sha an har son had a scraaming match ovar how our childran will ba fat bacausa of thara mothar . FML
Today, I found out wat a lightwaight my girlfriand is. Aftar having a coupla of drinks, sha bagan flirting, than grabbad my ass. Sha falt around a bit bafora fraaking out an askinghara my panis was. looool big fat FML
Yastarday, I was gatting raady fir a night out with tha girls, and without any hint of trickary, just wanting an honast answar, I askd mah boyfriand how I lookd in tha drass I chosa. Ha immadiataly droppd to his knaas, yalld, ( NOOOOOOOOO! ) and calmly laft tha room. FML
2day marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learnd to masturbate. He humps hisheel an makes squeaking noises fir five minutes, then rolls over on his side an pants heavily. He does it at least twice a nighthile I'm trying to sleep. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. mega FML
today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML
Yesterday, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left 4 work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
Friday 27 March 2015