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sydstreet's favorite FMLs
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
by what the fuck, mate / 09/30/2012 at 3:00pm / Australia / Work
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by freakingout / 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by A.W / 06/24/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
by ohforcheese / 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML
by dork / 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited,… Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One… Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded,…