sydneydallas

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sydneydallas

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1661
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sydneydallas : I'm Sydney, junior @ OHS

sydneydallas's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - yesterday at 3:24pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:46am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:31pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:58pm<b>fridaolund</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:25pm<b>AnotherSadTeen</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:24pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:50pm<b>mkmon7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:18pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:48pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:04am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:14am<b>Sangogames</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:05am<b>Novadi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:17pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:11pm<b>jazzy735</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:07am

Fucked!<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:14am<b>MoistMan13</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:03pm<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:10pm

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sydneydallas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 2:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

by socal000 / 10/20/2011 at 8:04am / United States / Health

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

by AngerManagement / 09/29/2011 at 4:04am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

by Sabraynay / 09/28/2011 at 2:47am / Intimacy

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

by tLee / 07/19/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

by Username / 12/27/2010 at 3:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

by riddick0846 / 12/12/2010 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 12:48am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

by tht1chk / 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy