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sxm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1274
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About sxm : about me?? whats there to say that im addicted to this app on my iphone, everytime i wake up i read these flm's ppl put up... so ya a little about me....

sxm's page activity

Visits<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:01am<b>omnia</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:21am<b>Raidriar</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:46pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:03pm<b>aruden</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:31am<b>Megwan05</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:05am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 10:16pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:43pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:47pm<b>hurricanemonster</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:18pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:46pm<b>dalink</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Bree_mode</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:17am<b>Wowxoxo</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>beachygirl24</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:57am

sxm's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sxm's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you deserved it (38367)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (3656)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

#19988832
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6012) - you deserved it (36095)

On 07/28/2012 at 9:26am - misc - by anonymous - Lebanon

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (3259)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50882) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13117) - you deserved it (41220)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (9946)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (8204)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
581 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13032) - you deserved it (53984) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (49842)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16840) - you deserved it (49805)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

#18324094
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15304) - you deserved it (20379)

On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (9413)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51714) - you deserved it (16521)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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