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sxm
  • Town/Country : winnipeg, canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1069
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About sxm : about me?? whats there to say that im addicted to this app on my iphone, everytime i wake up i read these flm's ppl put up... so ya a little about me....

sxm's last visitors

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sxm's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (2964)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (41482)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (5373)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3897)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (39985)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9558) - you deserved it (43357) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (9882)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (4732)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (1646)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (6403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10724) - you deserved it (53587)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (34703)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia



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