sxm

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Offline (the 06/17/2016 at 12:25am)

sxm

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2908
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About sxm : about me?? whats there to say that im addicted to this app on my iphone, everytime i wake up i read these flm's ppl put up... so ya a little about me....

sxm's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:00am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:19am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 12:23am<b>constipation</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:27pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 9:03pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:12am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:24am<b>hfudge</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:34pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:54am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:06pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:45am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:47am<b>macorncob</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 9:57pm

sxm's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of sxm's badges

sxm's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

by richard / 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

by khfhjfsb / 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

by bebooneo / 01/23/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous