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sxm

Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 9:01pm) | Search for a member

sxm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1649
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About sxm : about me?? whats there to say that im addicted to this app on my iphone, everytime i wake up i read these flm's ppl put up... so ya a little about me....

sxm's page activity

Visits<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:06pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:45am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:47am<b>macorncob</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:48pm<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:01am<b>omnia</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:21am<b>Raidriar</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:46pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:03pm<b>aruden</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:31am<b>Megwan05</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:05am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:43pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:47pm

sxm's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of sxm's badges

sxm's favorite FMLs

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (7144)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (4057)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47237) - you deserved it (6686)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50704) - you deserved it (6694)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54375) - you deserved it (4844)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (20064)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (14616)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (9935)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45840) - you deserved it (5384)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML



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